~ Publishers Weekly: “ Say's masterfully executed watercolors tell as much of this story about a young woman's challenging transition from America to Japan as his eloquent, economical prose. Friedman’s How My Parents Learned to Eat (1984), also illustrated by Say.” Rebelling against attempts to force her into the mold of a traditional Japanese woman, she leaves for Osaka, finds work as a department store translator, and meets Joseph, a Chinese businessman who not only speaks English, but prefers tea with milk and sugar, and persuades her that “home isn’t a place or a building that’s ready-made or waiting for you, in America or anywhere else.” Painted with characteristic control and restraint, Say’s illustrations, largely portraits, begin with a sepia view of a sullen child in a kimono, gradually take on distinct, subdued color, and end with a formal shot of the smiling young couple in Western dress.

~ Kirkus Review: “In describing how his parents met, Say continues to explore the ways that differing cultures can harmonize raised near San Francisco and known as May everywhere except at home, where she is Masako, the child who will grow up to be Say’s mother becomes a misfit when her family moves back to Japan. There, Masako meets a man named Joseph from Shanghai, who was adopted by English parents - and whose identity is equally torn as hers - and they marry and have a child. Because she is a woman, she works bowing and greeting customers, but is soon rewarded for her knowledge of English and promoted to a position of translating and helping foreign customers. Finally, when a matchmaker is hired to arrange a marriage for Masako, she becomes fed up and rebels against her undesired Japanese inculcation, putting on her flashiest American dress and heading for the city of Osaka to find a job. She is forced to wear kimonos and drink green tea straight, even though she prefers milk in her tea. She doesn’t fit in and is ridiculed and called 'gaijin' ( foreigner). Masako is forced to retake high school in Japan so she will learn her own language, how to behave like a proper Japanese lady, write Japanese characters (calligraphy), perform a tea ceremony and arrange flowers. Even though her parents raised her on rice and miso soup, she doesn’t like rice paper windows and sitting on the floor. She misses her friends and American food. The main character, Masako, plans to go to college, but her parents become homesick and move the family back to Pre-WWII Japan. This story has many cultural markers both English (pancakes and red dresses) and Japanese.

Tea with milk by allen say